Nathan's 9th Birthday!

Nathan turned 9 on May 4th.  He is a Barça fan, so he requested a Barça themed cake.  We did the best we could... :)

As we have mentioned before, big huge birthday parties at the big play houses are the norm here for birthday parties.  No on ever does a party in their home, and they always invite the entire class.  Well, that's one custom that we have not yet absorbed into our family. :)  With 4 kids, I'm not really sure how we would fit that into our budget, especially as there are about 30 kids in each class.  SO... we continue our tradition of family birthday parties.  For Nathan's birthday, we decided to let him invite a friend.

This is Adrian, one of Nathan's best friends here!

It was a very fun day celebrating Nathan!

Visiting Valencia

As we have been praying about where God wanted us in our second term, we have been visiting different cities (after tons of internet research, of course!)  This was our Feb. visit to Valencia with all four kids.  It was fun to see how the kids would navigate the city, but it was also a bit harder to see all that we needed to see.  In the pictures below, you'll see the amazing mix of new and old.  I love that Valencia has both parts... one very, very modern part; but also the very historic parts, as well!

One of my favorite pics of Carolina with her daddy! :)

Valencia has so much charm...

so typically European

Lots of "plazas" everywhere

and of course, the "motos"

The beach was cold, but of course we couldn't resist.  The boys had fun playing soccer.   I love the mountains in the background!

This is the City of Arts and Sciences

It's an amazing area of very modern buildings.  They house the science museum and the aquarium is nearby as well.

There is a huge riverbed that runs all the way through the middle of the city.  They drained the river and now use it as a green area.  There are bike paths and parks... it's beautiful, and it's a great way to get from one end of the city to the other without cars all around!  I love it for the kids, since it's all pedestrian.

For some reason, it's a bit hard to see in this pic, but there's water all round the building.

We really enjoyed our time in this big city!

Easter 2013

I figure pictures are better late than never, right?  Here's some shots from Easter of this year.  The kids had a bad rash (that we never quite did get diagnosed...) so we were all home for Easter this year.

The beginning of our Easter egg hunt!

The each had their own colors to look for...

The one how found the white egg got to open the gift that we had for all of them.

Well, I didn't quite get the picture before they started opening... but these were chocolate bunnies!

A different version of Twister... :)  This was their gift for Easter. We had lots of fun playing, but we had to take turns.  There wasn't quite enough room for all of us. :)

Clarity...

Sometimes I think we are just slow.  I have this perception that I have a really great relationship with the Lord and that I'm in amazing communion with Him... I'm basking in who He is and what He is doing... and then I realize that I was so caught up in what was going on around me (even though it was His works that I was looking at!), that I missed his voice.  He was trying to speak to me, and I just wasn't listening.  How does that happen?  I'm so thankful that He is faithful and persistent with me, even when I'm too busy to listen to His soft spoken direction.  I do get it eventually.  I'm just a little slow.

About a year ago, our supervisors made the comment that if we needed to relocate in order to find better medical for Nathan, they were completely behind us in that. We had struggled to find a doctor to help Nathan with his eyes (they cross, at times.) Eventually, we got a referral from our Dr. in the States for a specialist in Madrid.  They had heard about the difficulties, and it had prompted this conversation.  We were surprised to hear him mentioned it, because we had never brought it up before.  Relocating wasn't something we had pursued or even suggested to him (or anyone else, for that matter!), so we were a little startled.  We quickly assured him that we were fine where we were and that we could drive to Madrid for whatever needed, so we were ok at this point.  After he left, Wes and I both wondered where his comment came from... and then we never thought of it again. :)  We put it behind us as strange, and left it there.  We never prayed about it.  Never asked the Lord... we just assumed He had called us here to Cáceres and that He would keep us here! 

This was one of the biggest things that jumped out at me when our friend mentioned relocating.  We never would have considered this idea, had it not been for Nathan.  We were so focused on our mission and ministry here in Cáceres, it never occurred to us that the Lord may want to move us to another place.  There's SO much to do here... it just didn't make sense to go somewhere else.  It's almost as if we weren't listening to God's small, quiet voice; so He decided to speak a little more loudly.  Yup... I was definitely listening this time.  I was praying my heart out, asking God for a solution for Nathan... for help, for direction... and then our friend says "move!"  It's definitely not the answer I was looking for, but I certainly was listening this time!

The height of Nathan's difficulties occurred right before our language exam that we had been preparing for months to take.  It was (of course) the worst time to have such a huge distraction... such a huge weight on our shoulders.  The conversation with our friend, Chanelle, happened just AFTER the exam, thankfully.  Even though I needed to hear what Chanelle said, I was definitely even more stressed after I talked with her.  My heart was not ready to move on.  I love Cáceres.  I love our home, our friends, our little life we have created here.  We have battled through so much over the past 3 years to get to this point, to think about leaving it all was heart-breaking.  We decided to put EVERYTHING on hold... my parents came into town and we went on vacation to the beach.  It was a great time to get rid of the stress we had been carrying.  I literally left my worries at home, and we hardly talked about it or thought about it while we were on vacation.  We just soaked up our time with my parents and enjoyed our time with our kids and each other.  It was SO needed!

But, once we got home, we jumped right in and began seeking wisdom.  We talked with several of our supervisors to get their thoughts on what Chanelle had suggested.  We were looking for wisdom, advice, direction... and each one of them echoed the same thing:  "whatever you think is best for Nathan, we are 100% behind you."  They basically told us that if we felt like we needed to move to a larger city to get what Nathan needs, then they were completely fine with that.  The one thing they wanted us to understand was that they wanted to KEEP us. :)  That was extremely encouraging to hear!  They basically gave us our choice of anywhere in Spain... or even in Western Europe, if we felt like it was necessary.

We skyped with Matt, our pastor back home; and as he listened to us share our hearts, he said, "So, this needs to be a game changer for Nathan."  He hit it right on.  I think my biggest struggle was knowing that moving was better for Nathan.  He has also battled to make this home, and he has great friends here.  I needed to know that it was better for Nathan... if I could KNOW that it was better for Nathan, I would have no trouble leaving, whatsoever. I mean, of course it would be hard to leave our friends, but I could easily do that if God was calling us to something better for our son.

We began to ask questions of our supervisors as "friends" and as "fathers" rather than as just as supervisors, and we received a wealth of wisdom.  One of them told us that even if we moved and things were not different for Nathan, at least we could know (and Nathan could know) that we TRIED.  He encouraged us that it is much better to look back and say, "Well, at least we tried" rather than, "We wish we would have..." or "We should have..."  He was speaking from personal experience, and it impacted us greatly.   It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I was struggling, because as we were researching schools in other cities, it was so hard to know if it truly would be different for Nathan.  The websites all claimed the same thing... our website from our school claims to have a program for special needs kids.  It's legally required. 

During all this, the Lord really made it clear to me that we are not the key to His "success" in Extremadura.  It is His mission that we are on here, and He can raise up others in our place.  It is our job to be obedient; it's His job to draw people to Himself.  He has called us to be parents to Nathan first...if we are not the ones fighting for Nathan, no one else will step up to do that.  I realized that even if the schools weren't different, we knew for sure the medical was much better.  The therapy was much better... this, in and of itself was enough to warrant a move.  It will be better for Nathan.

So, as of right now, we are still praying through where the Lord wants us.  We have looked at several cities, but the Lord hasn't made anything clear yet.  As we've gone and looked in person, we've become convinced that a move will be better for Nathan.  Please join us in asking the Lord for direction and for guidance.  Pray that our ears will be open and that our hearts will stay close and clean.  We know the Lord has a plan for us!... we are excited to see what He has in store for us at the next step in our journey. 

Changes...

... and the story continues...
Throughout all these struggles with Nathan, we were frantically praying for wisdom and direction... and searching for other ways to make some immediate changes for him in the school. The Lord was faithful and opened many doors.  It's amazing that in the moment, everything seems so dark and uncertain (and sometimes scary!)  I was fearful for Nathan for a while there...  But as we now look back, we can really see how the Lord guided us every step of the way.

He made a way for me to go in and observe during Nathan's occupational therapy sessions... something that wasn't possible before.  Soli, Nathan's OT, explained to me that Nathan had perception issues.  He has trouble seeing what is on the board and translating it in his mind in order to get it down on paper.  It has nothing to do with his writing skills (although this makes his writing that much more difficult for him!), but has to do with the way his mind computes what he sees.  It is the same when he is copying something from a book or a sheet on his desk, although it's slightly easier, depending on the position of the paper.  So, not only was Nathan having difficulty with the writing part of actually making his hand write the letters, his mind was struggling with even what images to put down on paper!  I explained to Soli what type of issues we were struggling with in the school, and she made some suggestions.  (Most of which I had already requested and had been turned down.)

Since she was giving recommendations for school, we thought that maybe we could approach the Cerebral Palsy Association here (called ASPACE, and this is where Nathan receives all his therapy), and ask them if they could get involved and request some accommodations for Nathan in the school.  We thought maybe if it came from someone official, it might hold more clout.  We had many friends from the States, who have experience with this type of thing in the schools, and we received some great ideas to help Nathan. So, when we went in to request their help, I mentioned some of the suggestions (most of which involved some type of technology).  When I mentioned technology, the lady responsible for advocating for children with CP in the schools just laughed at me.  She explained that she could ask, but that the schools have never been willing to make changes like I was suggesting.  My heart just sank.  If the one agency (or person) who was supposed to be an "official" advocate for Nathan wasn't even willing to fight for him, not much was going to change.

I think this is where my heart began to sense that we had a bigger problem... but that thought only surfaced for a heartbeat... then I was on to focusing on surviving the moment again.  Aspace did go into the school, and it was a blessing for us.  It began the process of changes that Nathan was legally entitled to have.  When we met with the school representative for Nathan, he emphasized that they could not compel these teachers to make changes, but that they could make suggestions and provide awareness of Nathan's issues.

What is so crazy is that one of Nathan's teachers came to us and said, "Why hasn't this been done before for Nathan?  Why is this request just now coming to us?"  I was puzzled (ok, maybe frustrated...) by her statement.  For 4-5 months we had gone through all these struggles and meetings, and not one person had suggested that we request this type of "help" for Nathan.  We had no idea that it was a legal thing that we needed to request with a specific application process.  No one ever mentioned it, even when we asked over and over for help for Nathan... and here this teacher asks me why we didn't do this earlier??  I wanted to ask her why THEY didn't suggest it to us earlier?!?! :)  I didn't though.  I think we are just the dumb foreigners that everyone assumes should know more than we do. :)

As these "legalities" began to fall into place, teachers began to cut Nathan's homework load; and we felt like we had survived the crisis (prolonged as it was...)  We heaved a sigh of relief, and took a tiny step out of "survival mode."  Nathan's stress level began to drop a little, and we were functioning more normally.

At the climax of our struggle (at the point when I just wanted to yank Nathan out of the school!), I had put a call in to a colleague who lives in Spain and also has 4 children, one with CP.  I had wanted to walk through our situation with her and get her take or any ideas or suggestions she might have.  We played phone tag for weeks, and it wasn't until this specific point (when the stress was beginning to lessen) did the Lord allow us to connect.  His timing was perfect, because I don't think my heart could have handled this conversation prior to this point.

I explained what had happened, thinking I was talking in the past tense about an issue that I was hoping was coming to a close.  She listened intently and asked questions here and there, but was quiet for the most part until I was done sharing my heart.  I thought I was sharing good news... that it had been resolved, and I thought we could make it through the rest of the year.  When I finished, she said, "Michelle, I'm so glad Nathan's stress level is lower; and I'm glad you think you will be ok through this school year; but I really think it's time to think about relocating to a place where you can get better help for Nathan."  Whoosh... my heart took a nose-dive. Leave Cáceres when we've just gotten a good handle on the language?  Leave Cáceres when we have just begun to see the fruit of years of building into relationships?  Leave when we are really just beginning to dive deep into ministry???  At that moment, those thoughts were crushing... leave our "home" once again and start over.

My friend continued to speak, helping me to step back and see the big picture for Nathan.  She reminded me that school was not going to get easier for Nathan... it only gets harder.  She mentioned how important each year is, and if accommodations aren't made for him, he will get behind... not because of his lack of ability to learn, but because of the school's lack of expertise to make the necessary changes.  So much of what she said made sense to me.  We don't want Nathan to be an experiment every year, taking 4-5 months to get to where he can function.  And, what if there is a teacher who refuses to make accommodations for him?  I think here in Cáceres, because we are so tiny, there is very little experience with children like Nathan.  Yes, he has Cerebral Palsy, but it is not severe.  He doesn't need to be in a special needs school... he would be lonely there, because his mind is just as sharp as my other kids'.  If he were more severe, I think it might actually be easier to get him help; but because his needs are so specialized, we need to be where teachers have the experience and the desire to help him.

I got off the phone with my friend and cried... and then shared it all with Wes.  Everything our friend (and actually, supervisor...) had said made a whole lot of sense.  Even though our minds immediately went to the impact this would have on our ministry... our hearts knew that we could not deny a better opportunity for Nathan.  We began to pray...

Challenges...

Finally, the time has come;  I get to share a little bit of what has been going with our family over the past several months.  I'm sure you've noticed that I've been pretty sporadic in my writing.  I think I've been pretty preoccupied with trying (once again!) to figure out life in another country.

If you remember our arrival to the field 3 years ago, our son Nathan had some trouble adjusting to school initially.  It was VERY difficult in the beginning; but over time, as he learned the language, he began to settle in.  His last two years in school went very smoothly with a teacher who adored him and had no problem helping him with whatever he needed.  This year, however, Nathan changed teachers; and our whole world changed.

I think some of it had to do with the fact that two years ago, Nathan was still seen as a "foreigner."  He still had some language struggles, and it was obvious he needed help.  When he started this year, he was completely fluent in the language, totally integrated with his classmates, and I think he just blended in with the class.  Yes, everyone knew he had Cerebral Palsy because of the way he walked, but he's so intelligent that they didn't consider it beyond his walking and balance.  Because of cutbacks in the schools, the teachers are all doing "double duty."  So Nathan has a different teacher for almost all his classes, and he's only in 3rd grade!

About half way through our first month, we began to notice that Nathan was really struggling.  It was more than just having to adjust to going back to school every day.  He was continually in a state of panic; he was constantly stressed and worried; he was having headaches and stomach aches; he was crying at night because he didn't want to go to school the next day; he was crying walking INTO school, etc.  We began to ask questions as to WHAT was going on, and little by little we got the big picture.  Poor Nathan.  He was too overwhelmed to understand what was going on or to even explain WHY he was feeling so stressed. 

We have known for a while that Nathan struggles with his writing, and he is in occupational therapy to help him with it.  What I didn't realize was to what extent it was affecting his school experience.  It felt like this all played out in slow motion... and extremely dramatically.  Nathan was in survival mode, and I couldn't get to the bottom of it quickly enough to pull him out of the hole into which I could see him sinking. 

I knew he was overwhelmed with all that he had to do.  He was in therapy 3x a week, and then he would have 4 hours or more of homework every day (and many times we didn't finish all that he had.)  He had so much homework that I would have to sit beside him and work through every little bit with him, because he would shut down and not function due to the amount sitting in front of him.  I began allowing him to answer questions out loud, and I would scribe for him, because it took him so long to write out the answers.  I would write a note to the teacher and explain why, but certain teachers were not ok with it.  I figured that as long as Nathan was understanding and digesting the information, it shouldn't really matter the mode in which it was portrayed back to the teacher.  Apparently, it did.  What I didn't understand at the time was that Nathan was getting the brunt of my "adaptations" at school, which was causing even more stress for him. 

As I continued to probe Nathan for information, trying to ask questions in different ways so that I could get a full understanding of what was going on, we realized that he was also scared of his teachers.  Nathan is a very sensitive kid with a big heart to please others... especially his teachers.  It makes me so sad to think of my tender-hearted son being treated this way, but it is just their culture. From their perspective, this motivates kids to do better (this type of motivation is commonly found in Europe), but it is just very different from what we are used to in the States.  Nathan was put in detention for not finishing his homework, and he was yelled at in front of the class for not forming his letters very well... he became paranoid that he was going to get yelled at or put in detention for something that he didn't get to finish at home.  The whole load was just too much for him to handle.  He even began to withdraw and not want to go out of the house and socialize.

Eventually, what we figured out was that the teachers were giving the kids homework in class and telling them to take home whatever they didn't finished.  Nathan couldn't write fast enough to finish it in class, so it resulted in a ton of homework for him.  In one class, the kids were supposed to read a passage in their book and then answer questions relating to the reading.  They were required to copy their questions into their notebooks before answering them.  Well, Nathan couldn't even get his questions copied before class was finished, so then he had to bring it home to answer the questions... which still had to be written out and took him over an hour to do 4 questions at home!  I began asking teachers for permission for Nathan to just write the answers to the questions during that time in class (it doesn't really change what he is learning...), so that he wouldn't be so overwhelmed, but we were told "no."  Each class had different issues, but most of the difficulties came from having to copy things down.  No matter what type of accommodations I asked for, I was told "no."  I wrote note after note and went to meeting after meeting trying to get his homework load lightened.  He had no time to play, and his stress level was extremely high for an 8 year old!  In one meeting, I was  told that Nathan just had to learn that life was going to be harder for him than the others because of his disability, and that it was unfair to the other children if they made an exception for Nathan. 

I was incensed by the comments, and I couldn't just let it go.  My (calm!) response was that Nathan didn't need to LEARN that life was going to be harder.  He already knows it! Just to sit in his chair it takes more work than the average kid!... just to walk down the street or simply hold his pencil!  He already knows this!  But what he does need to learn is that he CAN do what the other kids can do, we may just have to alter HOW he does it.  I also mentioned that I thought they were discriminating against Nathan if they DIDN'T make exceptions for him.  It's not that he doesn't want to do the work.  He has Cerebral Palsy and cannot do the work like the others can, but he is perfectly capable of learning and understanding like the other children; Nathan needs to be encouraged in this! 

Honestly, I expected this particular teacher to fight me on my response, but he was quiet for a moment, and then nodded his head.  He told me he could see my point!  Praise the Lord!  I was completely unprepared for this response.  My whole being was gearing up to fight for my son, and it was like the Lord just reached down and touched this teacher's heart.  This was the beginning of a change for Nathan.  Of course, I was hoping it would change over night, but it didn't.  

Stay tuned for the rest of our most recent adventures...

Christmas 2012

We had a wonderful Christmas together!  We had Josh join us this year for Christmas Eve and for Christmas morning.  Josh is a believer from Australia, and he plays for our State basketball team.  His very first Sunday in town, he showed up at church.  He has a big passion to share his faith and has started a Bible Study with some of his fellow basketball players.  The kids just love him, and he's become like family to us. It's a blessing for the boys to have another guy believer (other than Wes) to look up to.  We were thrilled to have him with us to celebrate this special day!

Weston's new hat, gloves and scarf

Thanks to the Creek Church, Wes now has his all-time favorite comfortable, "go-to" sweatshirt!  He claims its the best ever.

 This year, we ended up stopping in the middle of presents to have breakfast!  Our kids were starving, and so they asked if we could put presents on hold so we could EAT!  I was a little surprised, but grateful that they weren't so caught up in the "getting" that nothing else could distract them.  We also trade names and have each child pick out a gift for that person.  It helps them focus on someone other than themselves, as they look and plan for what to get.  We included Josh in that fun this year, so that made it extra special!  So, we decided to eat and then come back for the gift exchange.

Wes and Carolina making orange juice!

Breakfast!!!

We had an extra special surprise when we woke up!  It's not much, but this is pretty unusual here in Cáceres!  It was actually all white when we woke up, but it was still dark.  By the time we could get a somewhat decent picture, some of it was gone. :)  FUN to have a "white" Christmas, though!!!

Down to the last gifts!  She was pretty tired by the end. ;)  So much excitement in one day! :)