Laughable Moments

Ok, there is nothing news-worthy in this entry. And I have to fore-warn you that if you are not already a parent, you may not want to read this... it may make you think twice. BUT, for those moms out there, it may give you a moment of comic relief to laugh at my life, instead of stressing about yours. :) Ok! You've been warned!

I call these laughable moments. They are moments where you just have to laugh, or you will end up crying. :)


For some reason, Carolina has gotten into a routine of going #2 during our dinner hour. (Yes, I did warn you!) I'm not sure if it's because she's so fair-skinned, but all around her eyes goes bright red when she goes to the bathroom. One night at dinner, I could tell she was going; but we were in the cafeteria, and I figured she'd just have to wait until we got home. It's pretty crazy managing all the kids in the cafeteria with both Wes and I there, so if one of us leaves... it's insane. So, I just decided she'd be fine until we got home.

I knew she had gone; I just didn't realize how bad it was. I picked her up from her high chair and was putting the chair away, when I realized my hand was wet. Yes, lovely. I looked over her shoulder, and she had poop all over her back... all over her pants and her shirt... and yes, all over MY coat and MY hands. Now, it's one thing when this happens in your own home. It does happen... and you just throw the clothes away (just kidding...mostly...) and you put the kid in the bathtub. But we were in the cafeteria! People were eating all around us! Plus, we still had to go OUTSIDE in the freezing rain and cold before we could put the kid in the bathtub!


I looked at Wes, who was putting the trays and dishes away across the room. He could tell by my face that something was up. He came over with a look of dread, and I just turned so he could see the mess. I wish I could've captured his look (and probably mine, too!) on camera. I asked him what we were going to do... we have a sit and stand stroller with a plastic cover to keep the kids dry in the rain. There was no way we could even put Carolina's coat on without getting it all nasty... let alone put her in the stroller! So, Wes decided he was just going to carry her face down, like she's lying on her tummy, out in front of him so he wouldn't get poop all over him.

So, Wes went flying out the doors holding Carolina way out in front of him, and he ran all the way to the Quad (the poor girl had no coat on... nothing to keep her warm... but at least nothing else got dirty! lol) I got the rest of the kids all bundled, and we ran back to the quad so that I could help. By the time I got there, Wes had stripped her down and just had her sitting naked in a dry tub... poop everywhere. Wes and I work together to get her all cleaned up and then sanitized the tub before actually giving her the bath. It's amazing the girl wasn't screaming. She loves her bath, so once we started the water running, she was good! I still had all her clothes to clean, but we thought we'd conquered!

Right around then, someone knocked on the door. I remembered right at that moment that a friend of ours had asked to borrow a cookie sheet. I still hadn't been able to clean my hands, but I walked out to the kitchen and told him we'd just had an emergency with Carolina. :) I pointed (but couldn't touch anything...) to the oven where the cookie sheet was. He laughed and asked if they could help in any way. No, no... we had it under control. So, he left, and I went back into the bathroom where I had left Carolina's dirty clothes. Wes was in there helping Jonathan with something.

I walked over to the bath tub to grab Carolina's poopy clothes, and I notice something floating in the bathtub out of the corner of my eye. NO! I couldn't believe it! I screamed, "Wes!" and could do nothing but point. Wes looked and just said, " How in the world!?!?" Of course, I was giving him a hard time for not noticing it before, but there was MORE POOP floating all around Carolina in the tub! Yes, oh so lovely. She must've been curious as to what it was, because it was all over her hands and in her finger nails. She just sat there, smiling... and all I could think was, "Gross!"

We went flying into action AGAIN. We drained the tub; I picked Carolina up, and Wes got all the floating "logs" out of the tub and into the toilet. I was holding a wet Carolina... at arms length, of course... and Wes sanitized the tub AGAIN. I tried to get Carolina's hands and finger nails clean and sanitized to at least an acceptable level without getting myself soaked or poopy in the process. I cleaned Carolina's bottom AGAIN. Wes filled the tub AGAIN, and we washed her up AGAIN. What kind of craziness is this!?!? I don't think either of us were laughing at the moment... but it sure is funny now!... but it doesn't end there.

So, the NEXT night, Carolina goes again at dinner. You'd think I'd have learned, but I didn't think something as catastrophic as that could happen AGAIN. So, I do what is logical, and figure she can wait until we get home. I should just cut and paste this section from the top... lol... no, it wasn't that bad... yet. I picked her up, and CHECKED the diaper this time. It was full and yucky, and about to come up her back. We thought we were being smart this time and catching it before it made a disaster.

We do the same thing all over again. Wes runs out the door with Carolina at arms length, and I get all the boys bundled. We all RUN in the rain, and dash into the quad. I thought I was quicker this time, but still not quick enough. Once I got in the door, I find Wes kneeling beside Carolina, taking her coat off. I'm horrified! "WES! You sat her DOWN?" He couldn't figure out how else to get her coat off (yes, we actually did put her coat on her this time!) I walk slowly over, expecting to find poop all up her back again, but as I lifted up her shirt, it was fine! I was so relieved. I couldn't imagine another night like the night before. But then... as I was standing there, sighing with relief, my eyes began to focus on this large, round, brown ball on the floor beside Carolina. Realization hit me, and I could only stutter... "Wes, is... is... that... poop?!?!" I begin looking around, and it's in her stroller, on the floor... little balls everywhere! I'm thinking, "how in the world??" I picked Carolina up at arms length again (I had already had to wash poop off my wool coat the night before, and I didn't want to have to do it again...) As I'm holding her at arms length and pull up her shirt to see if I had missed anything, she begins to shake her legs... hanging in mid air, she's doing this little dance. I'm thinking, "What is she doing?" Then it dawns on me, so I lift one pant leg. Nothing. But she's still kicking those legs, so I go for the other pant leg. As I lift the other pant leg, poop falls out. Her leg was covered... or rather, smothered in poop, and her adorable pink shoe is no longer pink. It's green, and there's poop even in the velcro!!!!!!!! Now, aren't you glad it was ME, and not YOU? :)














How can such a cute, sweet little thing have so much yucky JUNK come out of her!!!!??!? She will hate these stories when she grows up, I'm sure. :)... but, for now, they are definitely laughable moments.